I must be too annoying 4 u.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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