babies were throwing up all over the place
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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