I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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