youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize