ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
operation harelip BJ is a go
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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