I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
