well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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