a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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