Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You made out with two different species that night
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
