maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
