I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
