You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
