I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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