I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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