The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
