Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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