I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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