Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
