You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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