He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
