I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
