he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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