your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
