i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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