You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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