that's an acceptable place to lick
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
