you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
