ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
