we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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