you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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