im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
