You're completely useless in the revolution.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize