is your mom at the bar?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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