I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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