Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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