dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
