I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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