things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
