I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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