I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
