The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
