why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
third nipple confirmed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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