why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Panties = found
Randomize
