Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
