Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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