I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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