3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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