i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
