His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
