can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
