the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
