Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
