evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All the doctor said was why
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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