Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
