I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
