He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
