The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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