just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
