The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
