Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
smell my finger.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
