Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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