I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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