dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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